Friendships Found Me

I wondered through life – albeit not aimlessly – finding and subsequently understanding the reasons of my being. I believe everyone had passed through the stage of wondering the purpose of their life. And I said “passed” because I am of the belief that they only experienced it once, then quickly go on with their lives, fulfilling what they set out to do.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) not me. I use reason to explain every chances, events and happenings that occurred in my life, basically to comfort myself. I don’t know where did I learned to do that, but somehow it gave me relief and a hope (especially during the times that I hurt so much), that everything would turn out fine.

And that helps clarify things why I seldom ventured into seeking and making things happen. I am very quick to philosophize that if it means to be, it really is meant to be. No need to be proactive in order for things and event to materialize.

That attitude is also prominent in my relationships, particularly in my friendships. Truly, I never seek out nor initiate friendships. I may get myself easily acquainted with people but I never get attached too easily. I am the sort that gets immensely picky when it comes to making friends. I never go out looking for friends. But blissfully it is friendship that found me.

That’s the reason why  it amazes me if I could form friendships with the least expected person or people and at the least expected time and place. Nevertheless, I always welcome it with utmost wonder and joy.

…A Friend That Sticks Closer Than a Brother,

IMG_7037Recently, and of course quite unexpectedly, I found (or maybe it found me) a special kind of kinship – and friendship – in  one of my students. Let me make it clear though, that almost all of my students are my friends. But this one prominently stands out. I could probably give innumerable reasons why but it could be summed up to this: we are fated to be friends. For how can I explain that invincible tie that effortlessly binds and made us stick to each other closer than we are to our blood brothers or sisters.

…Or a Sister

The friend that sticks closer than a brother was a new found friend. But I already haveIMG_7605 a friend that sticks closer than a sister. A friend whom I had shared a lot of things:  good and bad, inspiring and disappointing, exulting and depressing; a friend who stand with me when half of the world had walked out on me; a friend who loved the unlovable me. In short a best friend.

I can’t reasonably explain the whys, but I could always choose to just feel it deeply in my heart. And I wholly relish the anticipation of having these two friends remain with me through life’s ups and downs.

And maybe, even when I get old. 🙂

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On Changes

I am fond of collecting quotable quotes, and through the years I have collected not quite a few. However, there are quotes that deeply made an impression on me that I never forget them. One of them is “The only constant thing in the world is change”.

Now, what made me all of a sudden gets melodramatic over my collection of quotes? The culprit is my family’s imminent relocation to another place. And, its imminence hangs like Damocles’ sword above my head.

I know I should be happy because our transfer would mean I would have a better job, a more comfortable abode, and I could be with my husband and live with him. It would mean my family could finally be living together in one roof for the first time ever.

IMG_7268I should be happy I know. But I just can’t help it that it weighs down on my heart. For though there are advantages, there are also things that holds me down that makes me want to stay.

Foremost, I am going to terribly miss my church ministries which I had come to love and care so much about. They are my life’s blood. Not doing them would leave me dry and high.

Secondly, I would miss my best friend, who is concurrently my ministry partner, decorating partner, visitation partner and prayer warrior.

Thirdly, I would miss my writing jobs. They have become part of my routine that not doing them could create a void in my heart. Blog writing gives me a release from my cramped emotions. On the other hand academic writing gives me the intellectual satisfaction my mind seeks.

I don’t know if I would ever find a respite from this feeling of sadness. I don’t know if I’m going to love my job there. I don’t know if I could ever comeback to the place which is home to me for 38 long years. I don’t know if I could have my ministries again. But one thing is sure, I would definitely keep my friendship in my heart. I just hope my friend would be well enough and strong enough to hold on till God’s will is fulfilled in our lives. And I earnestly hope deep in my heart, that the change that will soon occur is just a signal for a new beginning of a blessing-filled and victorious life.